About Me

Let’s face it, living with a disability can be hard. It can be overwhelming, confusing, and downright frustrating. 

Hi friend. 

Welcome. 

I bet you want to live a happy, healthy, carefree life. I bet you want to be able to do the things that you love, make memories with your family, be a part of your community. You probably want to dance, go camping, go swimming. Or maybe you want to be a parent, be able to cook for yourself or your family, do laundry, drive, travel, exercise. Whatever. 

Sometimes, living with a disability can make you feel like those things aren’t possible. 

Am I right?

I don’t know about you, but when I was a little girl I sure didn’t dream about being in a wheelchair when I grew up. That wasn’t in my life plan, and yet here I am. Here you are. 

But, let me tell you a secret. Life with a disability can be awesome. And I want to help you believe it, know it, and live it. 

How do I know?

Because I am living proof. 

I am a t6 paraplegic, have been in a wheelchair for just over 20 years and I have a beautiful life. I am  married to the man of my dreams and have 2 beautiful children. I have a job as a teacher that I love and am privileged to be able to make an impact on how young people perceive those with disabilities. I am an advocate for parents with disabilities, helping provide support and friendship to new moms in wheelchairs. I have hobbies and passions like cooking and nutrition that inspire and fulfill me. I am active and love to try new ways to stay fit like boxing, cross country skiing, and hand cycling. I travel and camp. I have amazing friends that bring joy to my life and always make me laugh.

• 

I could never have predicted in my wildest dreams that I would be living life in a wheelchair. But using a wheelchair has not changed the aspirations I have for my life, nor has it prevented any of  my dreams from coming true. (No matter how much I wanted to believe it sometimes).

I wish I could say that my achievements have come without any struggle or frustration. But that wouldn’t be true, nor would that be helpful for you. 

In fact every bit of growth came with fear, self doubt, shame, and self pity. I still have moments where I feel sorry for myself and resent the fact that my life is harder than it used to be. I harbor self limiting beliefs; ones that tell me no matter how hard I try I will never be as good a version of myself as the able bodied one I might have been if I had never been paralyzed. Or that my husband will eventually get sick of all the extra work it takes to be with someone with a disability and decide to leave.

Sound familiar?

Welcome to the human condition.

None of these thoughts or emotions has to last forever, and none of them means that your life can’t be great.

Believe me, I spent years trying to convince myself otherwise. 

I was just 13 when I was paralyzed and I lived in a small town in Northern Canada. I had no one to turn to, no one to show me what my life could look like with a spinal cord injury. I was in serious denial about what I had to do to manage my bowel and bladder and was unwilling to learn. I returned home from rehab a few months after my 14th birthday and spent the next 4 years of my life letting my mom be my caregiver and trying to distract myself with school and my social life. On the outside I seemed ok but on the inside I was just existing. Going through the motions, knowing that I no longer fit in the able-bodied world but feeling alone and like a stranger in the disability community.

Finally, when I was 18 and had graduated from high school, it was time for me to move out of the house. It was June and I was moving in with my boyfriend in August. I was terrified. I still had no idea how to self catheterize or do my own bowel routine and I had less than 2 months to learn. It was time to grow up. 

I found an apartment in the city where I planned to go to university, and my mom moved in with me for the summer so that she could help me learn how to be independent. I hated myself for being dependent on her for so long, but felt so sorry for myself that I couldn’t see how I was ever going to manage on my own. 

That’s when I met my friend Margaret and the trajectory of my life began to change. She worked as a service coordinator for The Canadian Paraplegic Association and was tasked with helping me settle into my apartment and support me in my transition to the city and eventually school.

When I first met Margaret, she wheeled towards me in a manual wheelchair, even though I could see that her hands were paralyzed. She is a c7 quadriplegic and she was putting me to shame with her wheeling ability. She was beautiful, successful, and married. She was active. She told me about how she handcycled and participated in wheelchair track racing. She could drive. She had lots of friends. She had a positive attitude and outlook on life. She was outgoing and funny. For the first time since my accident I could see a glimpse of what my life could be like in a wheelchair. And it didn’t look too bad.

At the same time, I returned to the rehab hospital that I had stayed at during my teens.  I was in the outpatient program and hoped to get some guidance on how to manage my own self care. That’s when I met Dr. John Guthrie. I guess guidance wouldn’t be the best word to describe what I got from him. More like tough love. He told me, point blank, how much I was capable of and how selfish I was for not reaching my potential; how many quadriplegics he sees in rehab that just wish they could do their own self care. 

I was ashamed. And embarrassed. 

Finally, I knew what I needed to do and I had no more excuses.

I was determined to become fully independent. Within a month I went from being fully dependent on my mom to completely managing my self care. 

Once I had made up my mind, things fell into place automatically. 

This has been the case for everything I have achieved throughout my 20 years in a wheelchair. 

Becoming a parent, learning how to swim, learning how to exercise, trying wheelchair sports and outdoor activities, travelling alone for the first time, taking my kids on a road trip alone for the first time, giving presentations on nutrition, learning how to transfer from the floor to my chair, figuring out how to be independent in my holiday trailer, the list goes on.

• 

• 

With all of these things, it wasn’t my physical disability that was holding me back, it was the limiting beliefs about what I am capable of that did.

Each time I set a new goal or  am faced with a new challenge, I am filled with fear, self doubt, and excuses. And each time I have to push through in order to live the life I know I am capable of and that I deserve.

And you can too. 

I started Empowered Para to share all of the things I have learned about navigating life with a disability. I want to help make your life easier, happier, and healthier and give you the tools and advice to make it a reality.

I invite you to stick around so I can share everything I know about parenting, relationships, health, personal care, travel, nutrition, fitness and more. 

 I promise to bring you along for the ride as I continue to work through more goals and challenges  and share everything I learn along the way.

The definition of empowered is to be made stronger and more confident and I hope to continue to empower myself and anyone who visits my site.

Will your life be perfect?

Nope. 

Like I said in the beginning. Life in a wheelchair is hard. 

But it can also be filled with so much joy, satisfaction, and gratitude if you have the right perspective.

You’re still gonna pee your pants (or worse) from time to time, you’re gonna get stuck wheeling in the mud or the snow, you’ll definitely encounter inaccessible places. But no matter what life throws at you, try to take it with a sense of humor and remember that you are not alone.

Sign up below to get all the actionable tips, tricks, and advice that I write about sent straight to your inbox!

See you soon!